Are you dealing with parental guilt?

I adore being a parent. It’s the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. But that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. I’m always questioning myself about whether I did the right thing or if I was present enough that day.

Although I like to think that the fact that I questioned if I did the right thing shows that I’m doing my best. And that’s really the only thing we parents can do.

We try to make the best decision we can, at that moment in time, with the information we have access to.

So, what is mum guilt?

If you’ve never heard of the term, it’s used to describe when a parent feels guilty about a choice they’ve made. It can relate to a choice about education, parenting style, or even a career option. 

And it doesn’t just apply to being a mum. Parental guilt comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes and can affect any parent or guardian. I don’t know about you, but as a parent, I feel this way pretty often. Even if I shouldn’t, even if there’s no real reason.

My child might have had the best day ever, and I might still worry about whether I was present enough that day. From speaking with other friends who are parents, I know that I’m not alone in that feeling. 

10 ways to connect with your kids in 10 minutes 

The easiest way I've found to make sure we get 10 minutes of bonding time daily is to include them in things I already am doing.

Examples could be when you’re driving to and from clubs, walking home from school or even playing with your child while the potatoes boil. As long as your child gets your full undivided attention, without interruption – it counts!

I’ve put together some of my favourite ways to make the most of time with my child. I hope it will help inspire your 10-minute versions. 

1. Make a game out of walking from the car to class

Parking for school drop-off or pickup is a nightmare. It often means I need to park a street or two away. But that means that the 5–10-minute walk can become a fun game where we spend quality time together.

Whether we are galloping like horses or doing silly dances and stretches, it puts a smile on both of our faces. I always feel a lot lighter on the walk back to the car. 

8 stretches you can do with your children

2. Make brushing their teeth more fun

I don’t know about you, but my children often need a little encouragement when it comes to teeth brushing time. And making teeth brushing time more fun has helped hugely. 

I like to pull funny faces at my children to try to make them giggle. Another of my mum friends likes to play pretend games, like pretending to be scuba divers. It doesn’t matter what you do, just that you’re engaged and present.

Fun learning games to play with your children

5. Pause if your child opens up a conversation

This was actually a piece of advice another mum friend gave me. And it seems so simple, but be an active participant in conversations with your child. 

If your child starts a conversation, try to participate. Not only do they feel valued because they feel heard, but it can encourage them to open up when they’re older.

I can’t always stop everything I’m doing to just talk, but I try my best to be present when they’re speaking as best I can. And seeing their little faces light up is the best reward!

6. Get your child involved in dinner time

If you’re already making dinner, getting kids involved can be a lot of fun. In my experience, it also means they’re more likely to actually clear their plate or try new foods.

One of my children’s favourite ways to get involved is by decorating pizzas. Giving them the freedom of choosing their toppings might lead to some very strange pizzas, but it also leads to lots of smiles.

9. Do chores together

I often see chores as a necessary evil. Something that needs doing, but not necessarily something I enjoy. That was until I started involving my toddler!

Children have an amazing talent for making things fun. And I was surprised to learn that even included doing the hoovering! Putting some music on and having a dance in the living room while we hoovered wasn’t a bad way to spend 10 minutes.

10. Be silly during bath time

My son isn’t a huge fan of bath time. So, making it more fun by being silly ticks two boxes. I get to spend 10 minutes connecting with him, and if bath times are more fun then they tend to be less stressful.

My personal favourite ways to make bath time funner are sculpting his hair into funny shapes or making a bubble beard. It might be silly, but I don’t mind because it makes him laugh every single time.